busy mama.

we received some rather disheartening news earlier this week.  downright crushing, if we let it.  i'm sorely tempted to despair.  to wallow in disappointment and give in to anger.  so instead, i shall fight to focus my heart on the truth of who God is, that he is in control, and that this news didn't catch him by surprise as it did us.  i shall trust that the Lord who loves our family will use this situation for our good and his glory because he is able to turn what looks bad to us into blessing beyond measure.

so i take comfort in the following from the mahaneys' blog:

“Reader, if God has given you His only begotten Son, beware of doubting His kindness and love, in any painful providence of your daily life! Never allow yourself to think hard thoughts of God. Never suppose that He can give you anything which is not really for your good. Remember the words of Paul: ‘He who spared not His own Son—but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things’ (Romans 8:32).

See in every sorrow and trouble of your earthly pilgrimage the hand of Him who gave Christ to die for your sins! That hand can never smite you except in love! He who gave His only begotten Son for you, will never withhold anything from you which is really for your good. Lean back on this thought and be content. Say to yourself in the darkest hour of trial, ‘This also is ordered by Him who gave Christ to die for my sins. It cannot be wrong. It is done in love. It must be well.’"  (J. C. Ryle)

and this too...

"God's grace is illustrated and magnified in the poverty and trials of believers. Saints bear up under every discouragement, believing that all things work together for their good, and that out of apparent evils a real blessing shall ultimately spring--that their God will either work a deliverance for them speedily or most assuredly support them in the trouble, as long as He is pleased to keep them in it....He who would glorify his God must set his account upon meeting with many trials. No man can be illustrious before the Lord unless his conflicts be many. If then, yours be a much-tried path, rejoice in it, because you will the better show forth the all-sufficient grace of God. As for His failing you, never dream of it--hate the thought. The God who has been sufficient until now, should be trusted to the end." (Charles Spurgeon, Morning & Evening, March 4, morning.)


and while i wait for the good to come out of this trial, i'll also take extra pleasure in the precious gifts God has entrusted to me and phil.  :)  here's the entry i was working on earlier this week before we got the bad news.


********

without fail, every time i've gone out with our four kiddos, i've felt eyes on us.  some downright stare for uncomfortably long spaces.  others are more discreet, but i can tell they are silently counting exactly how many there are.  and invariably, it always leads to a comment such as, "wow, four?  are they all yours?"  "are they twins?"  "how old are they?  they're all so close in age!"

and then i always smile and nod and say yes, there are four, they're all mine, and no none of them are twins.  the conversation always concludes with some variation of "wow, you've got your hands full".  or "you're  busy!"

but because i never want any of our kids to think there's too many of them...

or that we don't want each of them...

or that somehow there's something bad about having many kids...

or that i'm unhappy because of them...

i always smile and nod again.  and think to myself, "yes, i am a busy mama with my hands full.  but i love it.  LOVE it.  because i love them.  with all my heart."

i am blessed four times over.  and maybe next time, i'll say it aloud!


"behold, children are a gift of the Lord.  the fruit of the womb is a reward."  -psalm 127:3

the birthday continues...

mikey also got to celebrate his birthday with his class the next week, too!  families are invited to bring in whatever they would like on their child's birthday- most bring in pizza, cake or cupcakes, ice cream, and so on.  and again, originally i had something more elaborate and homemade in mind, but the thought of running around to gather everything and then preparing everything and then bringing it all in myself with three little ones in tow proved to be just too daunting a task.

so after consulting with mikey and later with ms. ella (the classroom assistant), i decided to go way simpler this time around.

and because mikey is the kid he is, he didn't mind that his celebration was much simpler than his other classmates' have been.  he was excited and nervous and looking forward to it all the same.

class pic.

and it's not an understatement to say it was a simple affair.  store-bought cookies, milk, a book for the class library, and glow sticks.  the end.  oh and little party horns, too.

the little sisters were happy to take part in the simple party, too.

after the cookies (and recess), the teacher turned off the lights and let the kids put on their glow sticks to have a simple little dance party.

and after school that day, i asked mikey if he had fun at his birthday celebration.  he said yes.  i asked what his favorite part was.  he said he liked the cookies and glow sticks and horns and reading (i had read the book we brought to the class) and dancing in the dark.  then he continued, "but you want to know my best part of all was?"  i waited for him to continue.  he simply pointed to me and said, "you.  i was glad you were there for my birthday."

that boy.  he's simply the best.

the birthday trip, part two.

just in case you were wondering where jonah was while we were at legoland...

cozily snuggled up next to me in the baby carrier.  he loves this thing.  and so do i.  aside from nursing him and diaper change breaks, he was in here for the whole day!

after we checked out of the hotel the next morning, phil had wanted to take the family to the carlsbad flower fields for mother's day.  i really appreciated the thought, but after driving around the crazy crowded parking lot looking for a spot and seeing the long, long line of people with the same idea, i decided that i reeeeally didn't want to go there that day.  i hate being in crowded areas.  really hate it.  i wanted something quieter.  something less appealing to the masses.

phil jokingly suggested we go pick strawberries in the field outside of legoland.

i think he thought i would say no.

it was windy.  and cold.

and yet she was determined to pluck that strawberry.

and enjoy the fruit of her labor.  pun most definitely intended.  (don't worry, phil rinsed off the berries before they were eaten.)

see?

"happy mother's day.  want a strawberry?"

phil claims that you're supposed to eat strawberries while picking them.  that's why you have to prepay the sixteen dollars per bucket before heading into the fields.  if that's true, then i believe we surely got our money's worth based on the berries this one alone ate.

meanwhile, the boy was intent on getting his bucket filled with the biggest, reddest berries he could find.

"are these good ones, mommy?"

"happy buhday, mommy."  (she couldn't quite get "happy mother's day" out, so she figured "happy birthday" was just as good.  and please note the half-eaten strawberry in her other hand.  she kept picking the flowers to give to me, but kept the strawberries for herself.  :p)

did i mention that it was cold?  and windy?  yes?  well then, i should also mention that it started to RAIN when our buckets were only halfway filled.  this picture makes me laugh.  (but don't worry, she was actually having a good time.  i just asked her to give me her saddest, most pitiful face here.)

her saddest, most pitiful face isn't quite as convincing.

so while i was goofing around taking silly pictures of our kids, phil was still in the fields with jonah strapped to him determined to get that bucket filled.

give me a smile, you sad, pitiful children!  (ok, so now they really were getting cold and wet.  but please note phil there in the background still working on getting that bucket filled.)

so believe it or not, we actually had a really good time pickin' berries.  er, at least i did.  mother's day 2011 was the best one ever in a ghetto, child-laborish, muddy sort of way.  :) 

and back at home later that night, phil came in with a surprise ice cream birthday/mother's day cake for my boy and me!  a sweet way to top off a really fun birthday weekend.

so happy seventh birthday, my dear boy who started me out as a mother.  you are the best present i've ever gotten for mother's day.  i hope you had a wonderful birthday weekend even though you didn't get a party this year.  we love you so very much and are so proud of the wonderful boy you've grown to be.  not for any one thing in particular, but just because of who God made you to be.  kind, patient, generous, happy you!

the birthday trip, part one.

where have i been?

well, it's that time of year again.  summer's almost here and for normal people, that means beach days, swim lessons, playdates, and perhaps a picnic or two.

but not if you're a tsai.  if you're a tsai, summer means it's time to move.  again.  and if you're the tsai mom, it means you're completely and solely in charge of packing and making that move happen.

ugh.

as one friend put it on sunday, "you tsais either have a baby or move every year!"  and sometimes we do both in one year.  just to mix it up now and then.

but the exciting news is that phil is ALMOST done with fellowship and then we finally move past these schooling/training years.  and it only took ten years!  : p

so anyway, that's where i've been.  here at home, starting to pack up our worldly goods and wondering once again why the heck do we have so much stuff?   but at least this time around i saved our boxes from last time and am just putting in what's been labeled on it.  kinda like a pack-by-numbers deal.

but i'm taking a break from it today to recap mikey's birthday trip from a couple weekends ago.  like i said before, this year is our no-parties year and so we decided to go on a little family trip instead.  where'd we go?

legoland!

a fitting destination for a brand new seven-year-old, no?

phil thought mikey would really enjoy seeing the new lego star wars miniland.  and did he?  well, i'll just let the pictures do the talking.

and instead of just a day trip, we decided to make it a weekend-long celebration.  the kids set right to work on one of their favorite things to do in a hotel (and the only time they're allowed to do this).

double beds inevitably leads to this.  (also the only time he's allowed to do this).

plop.

hello, my baby.  just cuz there's a new baby in our house doesn't mean you're not still my baby.  you just remember that now.  you shall be my baby FOR LIFE. 

swimming in the hotel pool: another tsai kid favorite.

this was the first time lauren was brave enough to float on her own and didn't need to cling to either her daddy or myself the entire time.  it's a new day, folks.

if you happen to wake up early, like oh say 7 am, you get to sit on the pull-out couch bed and watch pbs cartoons while the rest of the family continues sleeping in the other room.  tis the beauty of a two-room suite.

this sleepyhead couldn't resist the call of pbs cartoons, even though her eyes weren't fully open yet.

this year, i bought my own mother's day present.  the kids like looking for their names on it.  i like how it symbolizes that our circle is complete.  unless of course...  and no, this doesn't really have anything to do with this birthday trip post.

ok, so we finally made it to legoland!  and we made a beeline to star wars miniland.

and i think phil was right in that mikey enjoyed seeing it.  but only a little bit.

19,200 lego bricks later...

i believe he could've stayed here all day looking at everything.

the girls on the other hand, weren't quite as impressed with it all.

mikey has always wanted to drive one of these remote control boats around.  apparently, he's old enough now to realize you have to put money in to actually make the boat go.  no more turning the wheel thinking he's moving the boat when it's really the kid next to him.

but when it's your birthday trip and you're a brand new seven-year-old?  why then your dad will hook you up.

then we headed off to mikey's next favorite thing at legoland.

but not before we made a pit-stop first.

we stumbled upon girl-land at legoland this time.  i saw this and thought of you, jenny.  so this one's for you!  :)

her daddy felt bad that everyone got a legoland card with their picture on it except for lauren (and jonah, but he doesn't care yet.  actually, lauren didn't really either, but daddy never likes to leave her out since she usually just waits and watches to see if she'll get something rather than demanding one too.  i think he likes that about her), so he went and got her her very own photo driver license complete with lanyard and carrying sleeve.

when we came last year, lauren was too short to ride anything but the kiddie train and story boatride.  but this year, she was tall enough to get a third ride under her belt.  but because legoland has strict rules about riding these 1-mile an hour rides, daddy had to go up and down...

up and down...

up and down three times!   and he even let each of the kids pick which helicopter they wanted to ride instead of just staying in one for all three rides.  which is what a, shall we say, less-accommodating parent might have done.

and on our way out, we spotted this!

wow.

day three of the birthday trip coming up next!