so

so.

today is ('was' cuz it's 10 pm now?) the official last day of summer.

wait.  what?  aren't i homeschooling and can therefore decide to give ourselves another week of summer if i feel like it?  and for the record, i really, really feel like it.

ah, so much to update on and so NO time to do it.

long story short, i am still homeschooling this year.  and i'm not.

wait.  what?

yes, exactly.  i'm confused too.

ok, so phil and i agreed at the start of this journey of educating our kids that we would make our decisions year-by-year.  and that we would try to make those decisions trying to balance both the needs of the individual child with what would work best for the family as a whole. so after many discussions with phil, lots of prayer, and getting the kids' input for this new school year (not that we left it up entirely to the kids, but we did take their preferences in to consideration), what we've decided to do for this year is keep mikey home for school (imagine my shock when my most social child insisted that he loved staying home and never wavered from that choice), and to let allie try first grade at our local public school (imagine my double shock when my more timid and reserved child insisted that she really, really, really wanted to try school this year and also has never wavered from her choice).  lauren will go to preschool three times a week.  jonah will do his best to throw a wrench into all the carefully laid out plans.  it's what he does best.

so less overwhelming for me in terms of trying to be and do everything for everyone all at once, but still totally overwhelming in terms of trying to remember everyone's different schedules of school pick up/drop offs, homeschool co-ops, and after school activities.  i think "hot mess with a side of crazy sauce" would be a fitting description for me this coming year.  

also, i feel like i have no closure from last year's venture into homeschooling.  mostly because, uh, i didn't actually have an official last day of school.  it just sort of petered out sometime in may because i had to kick it in to high gear with the packing and moving and unpacking, y'all.  and then here and there in the summer, i'd throw in a day or two of schooling to make up the days we missed.  so homeschooling sort of ended and it sort of didn't.  and i didn't get my last day of school pictures of the kids like i wanted to.  *sob*.

and that is the biggest tragedy of all.

ok, maybe that's a little overly dramatic, but it's the reason why i feel like i have no closure.

but maybe that's just what homeschooling is anyway- throwing schooling in there with all the rest of life and have the kids learn alongside you while everything else is still going on.

or something like that.

so my thoughts about our first year of homeschooling are a jumbled mess right now.  but two things stand out very clearly to me.  number one is that i do not regret for a second all the precious time together and all the memories made with having the kids around all day everyday.  having talks all day long about all things big and little.  God talks.  heart issue talks.  encouraging talks.  correcting talks.  i loved it.  and i was overwhelmed by it.  number two is that i do regret feeling perpetually frustrated and overwhelmed.  mostly at not being able to do everything that needed to be done all at once.  it was hard feeling like a crazed, disorganized, forgetful, impatient, super tired mess most days.


so here we are on the eve of allie's first day of school.  she is so very excited.  i am excited too for her, but also nervous.  praying that she makes good, kind friends, that she wouldn't run in to any bullying, that she would have a great teacher, and that she wouldn't ever feel ashamed to talk about God.  because she loves to talk about God and was just saying tonight how she would love to introduce her new friends to Him if they don't know Him yet.  i love that about her and i don't want that to ever change about her.  and so that is why i am a little nervous for her.  i shouldn't be, because God's got her, but i am.

and so while i wrestle with doubts over the decisions we've made and the changes that are headed our way, i keep clinging to the truth that God will take care of her better than i ever could.  i very well know that i am not a perfect parent and am not capable of making the perfect decision for each of our children at every turn, but i take comfort in the fact that we have a loving Savior who is capable of knowing what is best for us and is leading us every step.  i trust that He has a purpose in this and will make it all come out for our good and His glory.

my baby's all ready to start off on an adventure all by herself.  we got her backpack this past weekend and she's been toting it around with her ever since.  even while she and her sibs were playing in their "hideouts" in the backyard last night.

project 52, week 26

there were quite a lot of decorations put up inside and outside the house for lauren's party.  but the fireplace remained bare and rather stark looking.  that is, until the kids took it upon themselves to decorate that area with an allie-made paper chain as well as signs and pictures they drew.  it ended up being my most favorite decorations of all.  lauren is a very loved little sister.

the fair

because it's just not summer without our yearly trip to the fair.  this time it was mikey who saw the commercial for it on tv and kept reminding us that 1) the fair was here! and 2) when could we go?

first order of business: mini corn dogs.

little dude was not going to miss out on the eating fun this year.

he polished it off not even two minutes later.

'twas okay though because daddy made sure the food choices kept rolling in the whole day.

beverage choices too.  it was rather hot that day...

we finally let him out and let him walk around on his own in an uncrowded spot.

there was no turning back after that.  he was a free man!

so while i was off chasing little dude and trying to keep him from getting lost in the crowd, the olders were intently making beeswax candles.

mikey proudly informed me that we'll be okay now in case we have a blackout at the house.  always good to be prepared.  ;)

meanwhile, someone was happily sampling a mango honey stick.

we also caught part of a chinese circus show.  i would think this would surely put a crick in your neck.  ouch!!

and of course, it wouldn't be a trip to the fair without our annual trip to the balloon popping booth.

there was no "30 ticket special" this year at the balloon booth, so daddy bought a whole bunch of tickets and asked the booth people if we could get three stuffed animals in exchange for all of the tickets.  they said yes.

i have no idea why he does this every year. 

no idea at all.

the kids were getting tired so we decided to call it a day.  but not without getting some chocolate covered bacon for the ride home!

thanks for the memories, oc fair!

and maybe someday we'll actually ride some of these rides.

or maybe not.

project 52, week 25

trying to keep them independently occupied while mommy's busy unpacking.  this particular idea unfortunately only lasted a day because we left them out the night we had a freak rain shower in southern california in july.  of course.

her 'punzel party, part 2

so yes, our surprise guest was none other than rapunzel herself!

she came with a basket full of fun things.

like feather boas and capes for everyone to dress up in.

though this little brother didn't know what all the fuss was about.  especially when there were macaroons still left to be eaten.

i think she was just a teeny, tiny bit excited that 'punzel was really here.

and then it was dance party time!

followed by freeze dance party time with pascal.

lauren was frozen solid.  mostly because i think she was kinda freaked out by the pascal puppet.

she cracked a tiny smile at the end.  mostly because i think she was ready to bolt.

then came story time.

which included songs from the movie.

the girls were riveted.

i think we all were.

even the big brother was drawn in.

it was a lovely afternoon.

rapunzel even brought party favors for everyone.  except they went missing and she needed a little help finding them.

and poof! they reappeared with the help of a little magic.

they. loved. her.

and she still wasn't done because face painting came next.

adorbs.

the girls were enthralled that they actually met the "real Rapunzel!"

the little sister wasn't exactly thrilled to share her 'punzel with her big sister.  hee hee.

that's more like it, she thinks to herself.

 and a special present just for the birthday girl!

group pic!

then it was cake time.  i had the darnedest time trying to find a rapunzel cake and so settled for cupcakes instead.  her daddy thought that wouldn't do so he went and bought her a princess cake too.  even though it didn't have rapunzel on there.

so i threw on a mini banner and problem solved.  ;)

"happy biiiiirthday, dear laaaauren..."

blowing out her #4 candle, with a few helper blowers.

gotta love the hands-free direct approach.

mikey took this one of us with the birthday girl.  and allie.  ;)

happy fourth birthday, my baby girl!  it has been such a joy to be your mommy.  God gave us a truly wonderful gift when He gave us you.  you bring so much love and laughter to our family and we love you so, so much!