project 52, week 28

sometimes it's hard being the baby.

playdates

one of the things we've enjoyed most about this summer has been the many playdates and gatherings we've been able to have in our home.  having loved ones here has been such a blessing to us and is something we look forward to doing more and more often.

it started with our little homeschool co-op end of the year celebration back at the end of june.  the very first gathering in our new home!

love these girls.

love their mommies too.  they have become very dear friends over the course of our homeschooling journey.  i could not have survived our first homeschooling year without them!

after our little homeschool celebration came a very impromptu little fourth of july gathering.  it was thrown together at the last minute possible so no pictures because i was running around like a crazy person throwing food out on the table and making snacks to take along to eat during the fireworks show.  it ended up being a very fun evening in spite of it being last minute and all, and we ended up sitting in a great viewing area to see the fireworks show at the beach.  good times.

and after that came a slew of playdates!

remember how i said girl parties (and playdates) somehow usually always involve crafts of some sort?

even the two brothers were drawn to the fun, even if it wasn't of the usual legos-and-nerf-guns variety.  as mikey concluded at the end of this playdate, "hey, girls aren't so bad after all!"

especially when there are popsicles to be had.  one of our little guests chose orange and the rest of 'em followed suit.

though they still mostly prefer time and space for girls to be girls...

and boys to be boys.

of course that's not to say they don't enjoy the same toys.  but it's funny how they tend to separate into their little groups instead of playing all together.

unless of course it's tv watching time.  because tv watching is best done all crowded together on one couch, right? 

as mikey's always asking who are the next people to come over -- who's comin' over?  :)

project 52, week 27

this summer, phil and i have tried to be more mindful about taking our kids out on one-on-one dates.  we realize that special alone time with mommy or daddy is really hard to come by when you're one of four and that time is only going to grow in importance as they get older.  on the other hand though, finding that chunk of time to slip out for that special date can be challenging.  because most of the time, we prefer to stay together when phil's home and rely on a zone defense between the two of us.  but the kid dates means that one of us gets to go out with one kid while the other one is left behind managing a 3-on-1 situation.  and because things are busy.  and we are tired.  and most days, the goal is to keep them all alive and fed and into bed so that we can finally collapse on the couch and veg.

so while we haven't figured out a good way of doing this regularly, we are at least doing it more often, which counts for something, right?

so these are phone pics of my summer dates with each of the kiddos.  i let each of them choose what they wanted to do with our time together.

lauren chose a frozen yogurt date.  chocolate fro yo with white chocolate chips.  she has simple requests and makes things easy on her mom.

allie went on a trip to the mall to buy lauren's birthday present (ok, ok, it *might* have been an errand disguised as a date but she got the longest chunk of time!) and chose a cookie to share with me when we stopped for a snack.

and mikey chose a bowling date and a stop at mcdonald's afterward.  just the two of us.

love spending time with each of my kiddos.  they are each so wonderfully unique and light up my life in different ways.  now i just gotta figure out how to carve out more time for moments like these...

kiddo funnies

gotta remember to get more of these written down before they're forgotten...

a few months back, mikey was reading some things off the back of a cereal box one morning.
me [in genuine surprise]: hey, how did you know what that says??
mikey: because i know those words and because, uh, i know how to read. (with just a tinge of exasperation over having to state the obvious).


allie to me one morning last week: mommy, i came in to your room last night because i had a bad dream.
me:  you did?
allie:  yeah, but there was no room next to you and i was going to lie down next to daddy, but then i heard him snarking really loud.  so i slept on the couch instead.


[mikey having a pouty, grumbly moment]
me: mikey, do you remember how you need to obey?
[mikey still in grumbly mode]
me: all the way, right away, and with a happy heart?
mikey: harumph.
me: you better check yo'self before you wreck yo'self!
lauren: that was a good rhyme, mommy!

her gift

she slipped into our room this morning and placed this on the bed next to me.  "it's a present for you," she said with a smile.

she went ahead and opened it for me.

i recently told the kids the story of how i lost the ring daddy gave to me when we got married.  she in particular has felt bad about the missing ring ever since.

and so decided she'd make a replacement one for me.

and guess what?  it's a perfect fit!  

she says someday she wants to go to costco and buy me a real one when she's bigger.  she's still under the impression that you can get everything from costco.

i don't know though... it's going to be pretty much impossible to find something that's more special and precious to me than the gift i already got.  and the one of a kind, made from her heart ring she made for me is just about perfect, too.

i am so, so blessed.

some 'splainin

this picture of lauren has nothing to do with the post that follows.  it just feels strange to me to have an entry with no pictures.  plus, i love this girl.  so there's that, too.



these are just some thoughts swirling around in my head these days and i figure if i write them down here, they might just stop swirling so much and let me sleep at 3 in the morning.

regarding schooling.

thought 1- we know and love families who homeschool their kids and have either done it all the way through or plan to go all the way through.  we call them the 'lifers'.  and we love them.  we also know and love families who have done some combo of homeschooling/outside schooling.  they're the 'drop in-n-outs'.  we love them, too.  and finally, we know and love families who have always done outside schooling (be it either public or private), and their kids have managed to turn out okay, too.  and i don't have a name for them, but we definitely love them, too.

so here's the thing.  phil and i have never felt convicted that one way is better/more biblical than another way.  we have, however, made the decision to be open-minded about the many options and to give them an honest try and our best effort to see if it works for our family.

thought 2- i gave an honest try and best effort to keep everyone at home last year to see how that would work for our family.  with a first grader, kindergartener, preschooler, and nursing baby, i honestly felt overwhelmed and spread too thin.  and ultimately felt that i was not doing even an adequately good job at any one thing and feeling forever frustrated at myself.  and guilty over the bare basics mikey and allie were getting, or the many hours lauren was just getting completely ignored and overlooked, or the fleeting, precious baby moments i was missing out on with jonah.  i just couldn't do and be everything i very much wanted to be.  so phil gently concluded that we should look at changing some things up for this coming year as much for my sake as for the rest of the family's general well-being.

i have a good husband.  :)

thought 3 (and this is the long one)- once upon a time, i was a painfully shy little girl who often had to be the new girl in school because her family moved around so dang much.  being the new girl was high on my list of terrifying experiences and i even now clearly remember those shaky feelings of dread upon entering a classroom, praying the teacher would be nice, trying to avoid the stares of the kids as they eyed and whispered about the new kid, and basically trying to be as invisible as i could to avoid any negative attention.  and i remember hoping that there would be just one nice little girl who might say hello and might ask me to play even if i was the new girl that nobody knew.  and that didn't happen more times than it did.

and even when i wasn't the new kid, i often felt like the one standing outside looking in and wishing i could just somehow fit in better and feel like i belonged.  to be honest, i still struggle with that to this day.  but even with all that, being at school felt safer to me than being at home.  because things at home were rough more times than they were calm and being at school offered some relief from that walking-on-eggshells feeling at home.

along the way, God did place some wonderful teachers, kind friends and their caring parents in my life just when i needed them most.  and i am grateful for each one to this day.  sometimes i wonder where i would be today were it not for just such a strategically placed person to offer a smile or an encouraging word to my scared and lonely self.  it gave me hope.

flash forward to my teaching days and there was a new little girl who showed up in my class who looked every bit as scared and forlorn as i used to feel and look myself.  her clothes were rumpled and stained.  she needed a bath.  the other kids in my class snickered and whispered.  and i came down HARD on them.  probably too hard.  i had a soft spot for this little girl and did what i could to help her, but often wasn't sure how best to help.  and one day she asked if she could come and live with me.  i came home that day and cried.

i haven't shared most of this with our kids yet.  i will one day.  but for now, i try to encourage them to look for the person who looks like he needs a friend and go BE his friend.  to offer that smile or say hello because you never know how God might use that.  God blessed our kiddos with lots of siblings so they've had lots of practice including one another and not leaving anyone behind.  i hope that follows them into other friendships they make as they get older and that they would make that extra effort to be that friendly face to someone who might need it.

that is why i do want our kids to be in public school.  to be on the lookout for the new girl.  or the boy nobody eats lunch with.  or the one always picked last for kickball (because that was me, too).

as our kids grow, i want them to always feel that our home is their home to open up to others.  mikey in particular, is very good at this and i am so thankful that God wired him that way.  i hope this continues and that their friends would feel welcomed and safe here.  because i remember very well the feeling of needing a place to go when home was the last place i wanted to be.

yet the mother bear in me worries for my kids.  part of me wants to keep them at home, safe, forever.  protected from the mean things kids might say and do, or unbiblical teaching, or negative influences.  i don't want them to grow up too fast and too soon.  i want to teach them in the way they should go.  i want them to continue to have close relationships with me, their dad, and their siblings.

but i also realize that i am far too good at staying within my own safe, comfort zone among our church friends and homeschool groups.  and in so doing, might just miss that one kid who reminds me too much of my own kid self who needed a friend.  and i'm just not comfortable with that idea, either.

and so, we are going to take it year by year.  some years they all might be in school.  other years, they may all be home.  and there may be some in-n-out years in there, too.  and not all the decisions we make are going to be the right ones.  but i trust that God knows all of this and knows his plan for us and won't let us down as we try and seek to honor him in the way we educate and teach our kids about the things that really matter.  in knowing Him, and loving His people.

we won't do either perfectly.  a lot of times we'll fail at teaching our kids to be compassionate and kind and patient because we aren't being compassionate and kind and patient ourselves.  and a lot of times we might avoid reaching out to others because it's not comfortable for us and doesn't come naturally to do it.  but even so, i do hope we'll keep trying as our kids are here watching us.

"the King will reply, 'truly, i tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'"  -matthew 25:40

her first day

so after all my angst about letting my baby go...

tuesday was her first day of first grade.  she was excited and ready to begin her new adventure.  not nervous at all.  i, on the other hand, was nervous enough for the both of us!

we brought a "happy first day of school/survival kit" gift for her teacher which included reward stickers, stress-relieving lotion, advil, chocolates, tide stain remover, antibacterial hand sanitizer, mints, lip balm, and of course, coffee.  :)

no pictures of her actually at school though.  it was pandemonium there on the first day of school and i actually decided not to take my camera with me so that i could really focus on being in the moment while there with allie.  oh, and also keep the other three kids from getting lost in the shuffle.  that was important, too.

and since it was her first day of school, i decided it would be his first day, too.  he didn't have even a moment's indecision about wanting to go to school after seeing all the other kids with their shiny new backpacks all gathered together with all the excitement in the air.  didn't even bat an eye when we left allie in her new classroom and instead turned to me and asked, "are we ready to head back home now?  and can i have my second bowl of cereal after we get inside?" 

i'm doing the heart of dakota curriculum with mikey this year and so far, he loves it.  and so do i!  we both look forward to spending that time together and it's been a really great fit for the both of us.  lauren has also been sitting in with us and i've even managed to have enough time to do the hod preschool curriculum with her while mikey does his independent work.  she's been totally loving her "school" too!  her preschool class starts next week, so i think i'll continue to do this program with her on the days she's home.

so allie came home from her first day of school absolutely raving about it.  she's loved it every day since.  and was even sorely disappointed when i told her she wouldn't be going on the weekend and that monday was a holiday to boot.  she can't wait to go back!  so yes, she loves school and i am SO relieved and happy that it's gone so well thus far.  God is so good!

and because i didn't quite have it together to have these little buckets ready to celebrate the completion of the first day of school, we celebrated the first week instead.

just as good, right?

i knew their very favorite thing from those buckets would be their very own roll of special tape.  tape is a much sought after commodity in this house and we are forever running out of it because of the yards and yards of it that gets wound around all their little projects.  they like to use five feet of tape where really an inch or two would have done the job.  so yes, each getting his or her own personal tape to use however they chose was a pretty big deal.  especially to this one.

because of her penchant for doing stuff like this.

so yes, the first week of school has gone over awesomely well in our house, praise the Lord!